My Shorty Awards Interview

No, I don't run in any category in the Shorty Awards! There's already an abundance of folks who are much more worthy of these honors. But I had fun answering the questions of the interview, so I put it up here (the effing blog desperately needs a new entry anyway). Maybe someone among my few, but inspiring followers is interested in my view of the Twitterverse. Ok, here are the 34 questions and answers:

What's your best tweet?
Always the next one.
What are six things you could never do without?
oxygen, water, proteins, fat, carbohydrates, vitamins.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I don't. It would ruin all the fun.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Everything's better than the Twitter webinterface.
Twitter or Facebook?
Facewhat?
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Laughed so hard that I forgot it.
What feature should Twitter add?
PERFORMANCE!
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
Hmm, Martin Sheen?
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
STFU
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Yes. But I won't be begging.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
Don't be so effing curious, or else I'll unfollow u!
Why should we vote for you?
You shouldn't. If elected I won't serve!
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Primary Obama
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
2 my inner Tweep.
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#primaryObama
How do you make your tweets unique?
By adding typos.
What inspires you to tweet?
Boredom.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
And you?
140 characters of advice for a new user?
B bold. B original. B funny. And do everything possible 2 keep it short! Because otherwise the damn 140 char limit will cut u off in mid-sen
How long can you go without a tweet?
At least for 13 days, prolly more.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
U're already asking too many questions! 'nuff now.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
Prolly will get worse. Twitter staff is incompetent.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
@MrCraigBierko
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
@MrCraigBierko
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That someone is actually reading this stuff.
Why should people follow you?
Indeed. Why should they?
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
Yes.
How do you decide what to tweet?
I'm not a decider! I simply put my hands on the keyboard. And then my subconsciousness takes over.
Why'd you start tweeting?
Why not?
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
One more excuse to avoid doing serious stuff.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
Fall in love.
How will the world change in the next year?
4 worse.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Faux news.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
Different.